If you take nothing personally, you get immunity in the interaction you have with other people, and no hypothesis gives you immunity in the interaction you have with yourself, with your voice of knowledge, or what we call thought. We also make assumptions because we are insecure and too self-centered. We are ourselves and we believe that everyone else sees them as you see yourself. We believe that we should put on a mask and present the version of ourselves that people want or expect from us instead of being ourselves. Making assumptions is all about thinking. We think too much, and thinking leads to assumptions. Thinking “what if?” can create a huge drama in our lives. Everyone can think a lot, and thinking brings fear. We have no control over all this thought, all the symbols that we distort in our heads. If we stop thinking, we don`t try to explain ourselves anymore, and that prevents us from making assumptions.
With clear communication, all your relationships will change, not just with your partner, but with everyone else. You don`t have to make assumptions, because everything becomes so clear. That`s what I want; That`s what you want. If we communicate in this way, our word becomes beyond reproach. If everyone could communicate in this way, with an insurmountable word, there would be no wars, no violence, no misunderstandings. All human problems would be solved if we only had good clear communication. “These assumptions are made so quickly and unconsciously most of the time, because we have agreements to communicate in this way. We agreed that it was not safe to ask questions; we agreed that if people love us, they should know what we want or how we feel. If we believe something, we assume that we are right on this point, to the point that we will destroy the relationship to defend our position. “In the whole war of control between people, it`s about making assumptions and taking things in person.” The four chords, chapter 4 All the sadness and drama you experienced in your life, were rooted in making assumptions and taking things in person. Don Miguel Ruiz Assuming you expect results that often lead to disappointments. If you`re sad, you assume that your partner can pick up how you feel and know exactly what to do (i.e.
give a hug, make dinner, buy flowers, etc.). If he/she doesn`t do one of those things (your expectations), you get hurt. Making assumptions, and then taking them personally, is the beginning of hell in this world. Almost all of our conflicts are based on that, and it`s easy to understand why. The third agreement describes the question of whether assumptions are made as to how it leads to suffering and why individuals should not participate in doing so. If you assume what others think, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict, because the person thinks that his hypothesis is a representation of the truth.  Ruiz believes that one solution to overcome the adoption act is to ask questions and ensure that communication between those involved is clear.  Individuals can avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama by not taking any assumptions.  Asking questions makes things a little clearer and reduces the likelihood of future misunderstandings.